is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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