as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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