It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
