M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
