i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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