My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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