doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
