i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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