I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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