Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
