Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
