Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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