Just mADE A PArabola og urine
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
