you guys were way drunker than both of me
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
