okay pat passed out under dana's car
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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