Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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