I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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