Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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