Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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