Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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