I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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