lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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