fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
