2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
