Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
