I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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