Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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