I wish I could punch you in the face.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
