I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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