I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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