If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize