I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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