I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
How naked do you want me to be?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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