I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize