You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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