he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
