i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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