i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Shame is for Republicans.
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