ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
