4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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