He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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