Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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