I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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