i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky đ
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now sheâs a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. âHigh maintenance hotâ doesnât even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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