He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
