how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
