You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
