4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
