white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
