I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
only if we run a train.
done.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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