He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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