I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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