He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
