were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
