dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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